everything

hmm... where do i start? i haven't written on here for a long time and now a lot of the stuff i would have written about are kind of outdated...

well thanksgiving was fun lol... yes, i said some of this would be outdated... but it was probably the highlight of my month. i spent a LOT of time with amy and my dearest marlise-- and i also got a chance to see amanda norgren. wednesday we went bowling, thursday was thanksgiving and i just spent a lot of time with my family, friday we all went to adam's... i think... i can't even remember what we did before that anymore! i think we were at applebees for a while, but before that? i'm clueless. but anyway, that night was probably the most fun of the entire weekend. i think it was mostly because all of us were so exhausted we were just... drunk. yeah, we really don't need alcohol to be drunk and have fun. marlise and i got married-- jake was the friar, adam was my father lol, and amy was the candy girl (because we couldn't find any flowers for her to throw lol). it was amazing. we took a ton of pictures-- that was actually the main source of entertainment-- and jake, marlise and i did leg exercises for a while and... it was amazingly fun. you just had to be there i guess. saturday i hung out with amanda and then we all went to nick's and... it was good. i love my friends!

i had to go back to school earlier than everyone else, tho, because i had rehearsals for my school's christmas fest. i had no idea this week would be as crazy as it was. i guess that's a huge reason why a lot of people don't join choir. anyway, i sang about 20-30 hours this week i'm going to say. my voice was just about gone on sunday... our last performance... and presently i am about as exhausted as i have ever been. but it was sooo fun. SUCH an experience. i'll definitely never forget it-- and we got to be on national public radio all over the country.

friday was a very bad night for me... i don't know what i was expecting, but i didn't have to work because we had a performance, and when we came back of course everyone was completely wasted and/or got completely wasted. and sometimes i'm okay with it-- but that night i just didn't want to be around any of them. it just wasn't fun to be the only one not drinking. so i went to my room and threw things lol. and then adam (the JC downstairs) came and knocked on my door and asked me to come watch a movie in his room... he was kind of trying to discourage the choir people from drinking because of our concert the next day. so a bunch of us watched spiderman 2. well at first it was devin, charlie, adam, dave and me... and then it ended up being just dave, merry (another JC), adam and me. we all ordered pizza afterwards and stayed up talking till 3 in the morning. and adam and i kind of have a lot in common... like we're both christians, both music majors, both passionate about worship... so it was actually really fun to just talk about things.

saturday, my family came and watched me sing... which was really nice :D... and i paid $20 to eat norwegian food with them (which they served at the caf the next day for free... i don't want to talk about it). afterwards, sarah miller had a "clean" christmas party (which meant no one was drunk) and it was great. it made me happy. we just ate christmas cookies and played games-- cranium and then catchphrase. after we played the regular version for a while, we decided it would be fun to try to relate all the words to sex. so... i don't remember anyone else's lol... but a couple of mine were "if you have sex with him, he tells you afterwards "you were grrrrrrrreat!" (tony the tiger) and "this is a guy that rides a certain animal that hasn't had a blow job" (headless horseman). it was sooo funny and it entertained us for a really long time. afterwards, we watched elf in joe's room.

nothing too exciting happened sunday, so it isn't really worth mentioning, and this is way too long so no one is actually going to read this anyway lol. but yay christmas and yay having a good weekend at st olaf!

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

hehe i have too much fun with these things.

registration drama

So, I realized my advisor was right when she told me I was crazy. I have sooooo many classes I have to try to take before I graduate from college, and I know that seems a long way off, but I made a list of all of my general requirements and all the classes I need to take for each major and concentration and, bearing in mind I'm planning on studying abroad a semester and interning during an interim, I have very little margin for classes that aren't necessary.

And of course this semester, I am in the 3rd to last group to register of the entire college. I didn't realize that I needed to declare a major in order to get into the prerequisite class for the English major................ and when I emailed the chair of the English department she made it sound like she would help me get in, but when I got there she was like... well, I can put you as number 6 on a waiting list. And OF COURSE as SOON as I sit down to register for my classes, Media Studies is full. Like if I had come just like one minute earlier, I would have gotten in. So I didn't know what to do... I kind of wandered to various people and all of them basically were like, "hmm yeah you really DO need to get into these classes, but... umm... i don't really care, i'm not going to try to help you." So I'm in some stupid justice class and theater. And so I'm walking back in the cold to my dorm, feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I'm paying money to go to this stupid college that is making me take classes that aren't going to benefit me in the future at all, and I get back... and I realize I lost my cell phone. So I go downstairs to see if I left it there while I was watching the OC, come back to my room and of course my room mate locked the door... which had my keys in it. So I went to the bathroom and... cried lol... and once I got that out of my system, the door was unlocked, I went back to registration and found my cell phone, realized that other people had been screwed over a lot worse than I had, and then I went to Bible Study and it made me feel sooooo much better. The leader came and talked to me afterwards, just to kind of get to know me, and he asked if I would be interested in being on the leadership team that prays for Bible Study an hour before it starts... and he also prayed that I would make some good friends lol. I don't think it was a pity prayer, because I told him I was fine... like I DO have friends here and I do have really good friends at home that I see every weekend, but he was like, no, I think you really need to find some good Christian friends here, too-- and so he prayed that God would do that for me. :D

And then, to make things even more okay, I ran into Teagen in the hallway, who is also double majoring in English and Music and is a Junior... and she told me everything would work out all right. Like a lot of people who major in English start their majors their Sophomore or Junior year, so it won't hurt me too much... and I'll be done with my music major by first semester my junior year... So, that made me feel a lot better. :D

And that's about all I have to say about this week.

Joy and Love and Peace and All That Jazz

Can you believe it?? I had an amazing week! Swing dancing last Saturday was amazingly fun... even tho I didn't really swing dance at all :p, but I'm a huge fan of jazz music and the atmosphere was really fun. And then afterwards I watched Back to the Future for the first time ever-- and it was soooo much better than I thought it would be. I'm not a huge fan of any aspect of the 80's, so I guess I kind of assumed I would hate all 80's movies. But that movie was definitely an exception to that.

Sunday was long... but it was enjoyable I guess. We had a choral festival ALL day-- a bunch of high schools came and sang with all of the St Olaf choirs and then we had a concert at the end of the day. I think the whole thing was about 8 hours... it was exhausting... but there were about 1500 voices and it sounded really good I think. And then there was this adorable old man who has been a director at Luther for a while, and he directed a couple of our songs and he got the greatest standing ovation. He looked so happy... I fell in love with him... and it made me miss my grandpa :( All the guys here thought it was weird to use the word "cute" to describe an old man-- but if you had saw him! That was definitely the best word to describe him.

And then all this week something in me just... broke. Like in a good way. And I've just been overflowing this whole week... like dancing in my room, singing in the shower, smiling all the time kind of overflowing. Its been great. And it was definitely a God thing. There's so much more than I can share in a blog... if you want to know why I'm so happy, just ask... but it will be a long story. :D

Other than that, my week was pretty average. But just being so happy changed everything!

my personality

Jacob decided to summarize my personality for me today. Let's see if you agree:
-nice
-emo
-melodramatic
-scatterbrained
I guess one good characteristic out of four is better than no good characteristics out of four...

So this last week kind of sucked... I don't know, I was just a little emo I think, piled along with a few things that just irritated me. But anyway, I was planning on staying here (at college) for Halloween weekend because a lot of stuff was going on, but I ended up calling Lee Friday afternoon and asking him to come pick me up at the Mall of America and then buying bus tickets before I worked that night. I didn't even tell anyone I was leaving... I was such a mess that night, u have no idea. I had so many people come up to me while I was working and asking me if I was okay... up until like 2 in the morning and I'm pretty sure I hadn't cried since like 8. So I just looked like crap lol. But I watched Hitch for the first time and it was gooooooooood... I loved it! And then a few guys came and talked to me... like nice guys on my floor... and one of them bought me a pizza and split it with me! It made me happy. And this drunk guy Charlie (he's a nice guy, he was just REALLY drunk) decided he wanted to ride his bike up and down the halls at 2 in the morning, so I (being the one "in charge"... isn't that funny?) had to try to get him to put the bike back outside, grab his stuff, open the door for him, and he wanted me to tuck him in! And I was like, yah, I've had a crappy night, I think you can do that for yourself. I ended up going to bed at like 3:30, just because I couldn't sleep. And then TIM calls me at SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING and asks me where I am... and I'm like "umm.... SLEEPING!" I guess he thought I was at a choir festival that he was at... but only the guys went. But then I couldn't fall back asleep, so i ended up getting very little sleep. I'm so surprised that I was emotionally stable the next day, considering all that.

But anyway, I met Lee at Mall of America and he hung out with me the rest of the day. I don't know, we went shopping and stuff... and went to four different grocery stores to find the SPECIFIC casserole I was craving! Doesn't anyone else ever get really sick of caf food and fast food?? I just wanted something that was somewhat homemade. But we brought it to Adam's and I was pretty much the only one that ate it. I guess everyone else in the world has a mom that makes REAL casserole and so they didn't care for the frozen kind... :( But oh well, I ate it all... it didn't go to waste lol. And then more people came to Adam's and we played video games and eventually went outside for a short bonfire. A couple of the guys thought it would be fun to shoot off fireworks and Sarah and I were getting a little nervous, so we hid behind a tree together. So Lee takes one and points it right at us... and it explodes like a foot away from our heads!! So I was like ENOUGH! A group of people ended up going to Applebees and I kind of wanted to go, but Rachael and Lee didn't and I was their ride... and it was like 11 and Rachael had to be back home at 12, so I decided I was too tired to run around all over. So we ended up making pancakes, listening to my new David Crowder cds (I am absolutely in LOOOOOOOOOOVE with them now!). And then I dropped off Rachael, came back and we watched Robots. Most of us fell asleep when it was on... but I fell asleep after like 15 minutes. It was pathetic.

Sunday morning I was on my way to church, and Sarah called me and asked me to tell everyone to come to the youth group event that night. And I was like, "Why can't you?" And I guess her parents took away her car, so I went and picked her up and we ended up being a half an hour late for church. But I really didn't care. After church, I went to the mall and bought new pajamas, went home and put my laundry in and slept ALL afternoon. I'm not even exaggerating. I woke up when my family came home from Wisconsin at 6:30, folded my laundry and then my dad drove me back to college. I was a little nervous, because my dad isn't the nicest person in the world to me, but we had a really good conversation. And he told me that he'd dropped out of the U of M after his first quarter... which I'd never known. And if he could have gone back he would have stayed, altho he's glad he ended up going to Bethel because he met my mom. But it was the first time I think that I've had a conversation with him where he hasn't talked down to me. Now that I'm in college, it seems like my parents are becoming more and more like friends than authorities... now that I'm "grown up"... And it was nice that he could empathize with me on that level... like disliking college.

In all, this weekend wasn't the greatest, but it made me feel better about the rest of the week. So it was good. :D

concert

so... umm.. yah.. i'm not sure how to add pictures and i'd really like to! so if anyone could help me with that, that would be great. because i think the pictures on people's blogs are half the fun-- and its no fun to have a profile and no pic. :(

otherwise, life is great. i have the GREATEST friends. i absolutely LOVE them.

i wish there was more to say about college... but i really don't do anything THAT interesting. i've been spending more time in joe's room, which is apparently also andy, mica and thor's room now. and........ i watch baseball games and watch them play video games. so i've done more interesting things. :D but they're fun people. u wouldn't think this, but friday nights are actually probably the most interesting nights i have. somehow, i ended up having to work friday nights 9-2am at the front desk of my hall. but usually i have a lot of people stop and talk to me for a while and we're not SUPPOSED to watch movies on our laptops... but i do. nobody really cares that much, at least as far as i know... but if all else fails, it is REALLY amusing to watch drunk people. most of my stories i've found people don't think are as funny as i thought they were... i guess u have to be there. but i don't know, people make me laugh.

anyway, yesterday i went home to see the chris tomlin concert with my best friends in the world. i've been trying to get people together to go to it for weeks. and it turned out SO much better than i expected it to. 14 people ended up going... and our seats weren't bad at all, even tho we weren't super close. and then a handful of people ended up going down to the front, anyway, just standing in the aisles. but chris tomlin has such a heart for God and wonderful music, and the combination of him, matt redman and louie giglio!!... it was amazing!! afterwards we went to perkins, and ended up at adam's house to watch minority report. GOOD MOVIE, but i was exhausted. i ended up going to bed at like 4 and then we went to church the next morning. so its the second night in a row i've stayed up till 4/430-ish. but i'm not really feeling tired.. i'm good. it was worth it, anyway.

this last week

well, i've decided this last week was probably one of the most dramatic weeks of my life-- sooo much happened, its crazy. i learned so much about life, about God, about myself, about EVERYTHING. i could probably write a novel about the last week, but i'll try to summarize it into a reasonable-sized blog entry:

i left school on wednesday to go to wisconsin because my grandpa died on monday--- which really sucked for a variety of reasons, but i think if any of u have ever had someone u love die (i know a lot of people who are reading this have) then u probably understand a little what i went through. but i started this week having a terrible time just feeling miserable and homesick, questioning everything i ever believed and on top of it all instead of comforting each other my family just RIPPED each other apart all week. ahhhh it was SOOO bad. and i wasn't super close to my extended family, but of all them i was probably closest to my grandpa and one of my cousins who is about my age. and my grandma decided she wanted EVERYONE to stay in her house, which is pretty big, but not really big enough to contain like 20 people. so it was a little awkward at first, but the few days we were all there really drew a lot of us closer than we've ever been. basically, the wake was hard but the funeral made everything so much better. my contribution was an arrangement of somewhere over the rainbow i had written that i sang with my cousin while my brother played the guitar. and u wouldn't think this, but just hearing the pastor reassure everyone that my grandpa was okay just made everything okay. and i guess my family has this thing--- everytime someone dies they see a deer, which is really weird i think. but on the way back from the cemetary, there was a deer walking on the side of the road and people were pulling over and petting it! and it just kept walking as if it didn't have a care in the world in to the world. and THAT i guess was the sign i needed that he was okay. and everything would be okay.

soooo... i haven't gotten to any of the good stuff yet! lol--- after the funeral i stayed up till 3 in the morning talking to my drunk (who claimed to be just TIPSY) cousin (he was drunk) about sex. it was great! he's been married for about a year and he told us EVERYTHING. and it wasn't just like, "oh don't do it... blablabla..." he went in DEPTH. i mean, it wasn't sick or anything, but it was as informative of a sex talk i have ever had... probably because he had lost all discernment with his intoxication, but basically he told me what guys think about EVERYTHING. and all i can say is, wow.

i came home the next day (saturday) and watched the godfather with jesse and justin at adam's house. and then i went to kelly johnson's for a hayride/bonfire which was really fun! amy and i had a good talk about things and justin just killed me because he tackled me so many times. and then we went to perkins and that was fun. sunday i went to church, hung out with justin, amy, sarah and my brother and we just went shopping and ate at justin's. i decided to go to youth group that night, which was kind of awkward, but i had a really good talk with sarah and then i had an amazing talk with lee. like i got so much off of my chest that i've been bottling up for like 2 years. and i felt so much better about everything after that night.

monday i hung out with amanda norgren-- we are one person, we decided-- sisters-- and we figured out EVERYTHING in our lives together. it was just crazy. i haven't had so many good conversations in such a short time before. i hate how i'm just skimming the surface, but there's no way i could tell u everything i was dealing with in this little blog. i've already written enough. but i have never been happier than i am now after this weekend! i just love my friends!!! and i'm completely confident everything will be okay now. :D

First Post

This is just my first post. I am actually leaving for Wisconsin in ten minutes and need to pack, so I'm not sure why exactly I decided to start this blog right now...... but I will tell u all more stories later, when life has settled down a little. I'll be back to my beautiful Corcoran/ Rockford home on Friday! And I'll be around until Tuesday night... so hopefully I will be able to make it to the homecoming game, but who knows where life will take me in the next few days. I'll post more later, tho.