So this last week kind of sucked... I don't know, I was just a little emo I think, piled along with a few things that just irritated me. But anyway, I was planning on staying here (at college) for Halloween weekend because a lot of stuff was going on, but I ended up calling Lee Friday afternoon and asking him to come pick me up at the Mall of America and then buying bus tickets before I worked that night. I didn't even tell anyone I was leaving... I was such a mess that night, u have no idea. I had so many people come up to me while I was working and asking me if I was okay... up until like 2 in the morning and I'm pretty sure I hadn't cried since like 8. So I just looked like crap lol. But I watched Hitch for the first time and it was gooooooooood... I loved it! And then a few guys came and talked to me... like nice guys on my floor... and one of them bought me a pizza and split it with me! It made me happy. And this drunk guy Charlie (he's a nice guy, he was just REALLY drunk) decided he wanted to ride his bike up and down the halls at 2 in the morning, so I (being the one "in charge"... isn't that funny?) had to try to get him to put the bike back outside, grab his stuff, open the door for him, and he wanted me to tuck him in! And I was like, yah, I've had a crappy night, I think you can do that for yourself. I ended up going to bed at like 3:30, just because I couldn't sleep. And then TIM calls me at SEVEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING and asks me where I am... and I'm like "umm.... SLEEPING!" I guess he thought I was at a choir festival that he was at... but only the guys went. But then I couldn't fall back asleep, so i ended up getting very little sleep. I'm so surprised that I was emotionally stable the next day, considering all that.

But anyway, I met Lee at Mall of America and he hung out with me the rest of the day. I don't know, we went shopping and stuff... and went to four different grocery stores to find the SPECIFIC casserole I was craving! Doesn't anyone else ever get really sick of caf food and fast food?? I just wanted something that was somewhat homemade. But we brought it to Adam's and I was pretty much the only one that ate it. I guess everyone else in the world has a mom that makes REAL casserole and so they didn't care for the frozen kind... :( But oh well, I ate it all... it didn't go to waste lol. And then more people came to Adam's and we played video games and eventually went outside for a short bonfire. A couple of the guys thought it would be fun to shoot off fireworks and Sarah and I were getting a little nervous, so we hid behind a tree together. So Lee takes one and points it right at us... and it explodes like a foot away from our heads!! So I was like ENOUGH! A group of people ended up going to Applebees and I kind of wanted to go, but Rachael and Lee didn't and I was their ride... and it was like 11 and Rachael had to be back home at 12, so I decided I was too tired to run around all over. So we ended up making pancakes, listening to my new David Crowder cds (I am absolutely in LOOOOOOOOOOVE with them now!). And then I dropped off Rachael, came back and we watched Robots. Most of us fell asleep when it was on... but I fell asleep after like 15 minutes. It was pathetic.

Sunday morning I was on my way to church, and Sarah called me and asked me to tell everyone to come to the youth group event that night. And I was like, "Why can't you?" And I guess her parents took away her car, so I went and picked her up and we ended up being a half an hour late for church. But I really didn't care. After church, I went to the mall and bought new pajamas, went home and put my laundry in and slept ALL afternoon. I'm not even exaggerating. I woke up when my family came home from Wisconsin at 6:30, folded my laundry and then my dad drove me back to college. I was a little nervous, because my dad isn't the nicest person in the world to me, but we had a really good conversation. And he told me that he'd dropped out of the U of M after his first quarter... which I'd never known. And if he could have gone back he would have stayed, altho he's glad he ended up going to Bethel because he met my mom. But it was the first time I think that I've had a conversation with him where he hasn't talked down to me. Now that I'm in college, it seems like my parents are becoming more and more like friends than authorities... now that I'm "grown up"... And it was nice that he could empathize with me on that level... like disliking college.

In all, this weekend wasn't the greatest, but it made me feel better about the rest of the week. So it was good. :D

concert

so... umm.. yah.. i'm not sure how to add pictures and i'd really like to! so if anyone could help me with that, that would be great. because i think the pictures on people's blogs are half the fun-- and its no fun to have a profile and no pic. :(

otherwise, life is great. i have the GREATEST friends. i absolutely LOVE them.

i wish there was more to say about college... but i really don't do anything THAT interesting. i've been spending more time in joe's room, which is apparently also andy, mica and thor's room now. and........ i watch baseball games and watch them play video games. so i've done more interesting things. :D but they're fun people. u wouldn't think this, but friday nights are actually probably the most interesting nights i have. somehow, i ended up having to work friday nights 9-2am at the front desk of my hall. but usually i have a lot of people stop and talk to me for a while and we're not SUPPOSED to watch movies on our laptops... but i do. nobody really cares that much, at least as far as i know... but if all else fails, it is REALLY amusing to watch drunk people. most of my stories i've found people don't think are as funny as i thought they were... i guess u have to be there. but i don't know, people make me laugh.

anyway, yesterday i went home to see the chris tomlin concert with my best friends in the world. i've been trying to get people together to go to it for weeks. and it turned out SO much better than i expected it to. 14 people ended up going... and our seats weren't bad at all, even tho we weren't super close. and then a handful of people ended up going down to the front, anyway, just standing in the aisles. but chris tomlin has such a heart for God and wonderful music, and the combination of him, matt redman and louie giglio!!... it was amazing!! afterwards we went to perkins, and ended up at adam's house to watch minority report. GOOD MOVIE, but i was exhausted. i ended up going to bed at like 4 and then we went to church the next morning. so its the second night in a row i've stayed up till 4/430-ish. but i'm not really feeling tired.. i'm good. it was worth it, anyway.

this last week

well, i've decided this last week was probably one of the most dramatic weeks of my life-- sooo much happened, its crazy. i learned so much about life, about God, about myself, about EVERYTHING. i could probably write a novel about the last week, but i'll try to summarize it into a reasonable-sized blog entry:

i left school on wednesday to go to wisconsin because my grandpa died on monday--- which really sucked for a variety of reasons, but i think if any of u have ever had someone u love die (i know a lot of people who are reading this have) then u probably understand a little what i went through. but i started this week having a terrible time just feeling miserable and homesick, questioning everything i ever believed and on top of it all instead of comforting each other my family just RIPPED each other apart all week. ahhhh it was SOOO bad. and i wasn't super close to my extended family, but of all them i was probably closest to my grandpa and one of my cousins who is about my age. and my grandma decided she wanted EVERYONE to stay in her house, which is pretty big, but not really big enough to contain like 20 people. so it was a little awkward at first, but the few days we were all there really drew a lot of us closer than we've ever been. basically, the wake was hard but the funeral made everything so much better. my contribution was an arrangement of somewhere over the rainbow i had written that i sang with my cousin while my brother played the guitar. and u wouldn't think this, but just hearing the pastor reassure everyone that my grandpa was okay just made everything okay. and i guess my family has this thing--- everytime someone dies they see a deer, which is really weird i think. but on the way back from the cemetary, there was a deer walking on the side of the road and people were pulling over and petting it! and it just kept walking as if it didn't have a care in the world in to the world. and THAT i guess was the sign i needed that he was okay. and everything would be okay.

soooo... i haven't gotten to any of the good stuff yet! lol--- after the funeral i stayed up till 3 in the morning talking to my drunk (who claimed to be just TIPSY) cousin (he was drunk) about sex. it was great! he's been married for about a year and he told us EVERYTHING. and it wasn't just like, "oh don't do it... blablabla..." he went in DEPTH. i mean, it wasn't sick or anything, but it was as informative of a sex talk i have ever had... probably because he had lost all discernment with his intoxication, but basically he told me what guys think about EVERYTHING. and all i can say is, wow.

i came home the next day (saturday) and watched the godfather with jesse and justin at adam's house. and then i went to kelly johnson's for a hayride/bonfire which was really fun! amy and i had a good talk about things and justin just killed me because he tackled me so many times. and then we went to perkins and that was fun. sunday i went to church, hung out with justin, amy, sarah and my brother and we just went shopping and ate at justin's. i decided to go to youth group that night, which was kind of awkward, but i had a really good talk with sarah and then i had an amazing talk with lee. like i got so much off of my chest that i've been bottling up for like 2 years. and i felt so much better about everything after that night.

monday i hung out with amanda norgren-- we are one person, we decided-- sisters-- and we figured out EVERYTHING in our lives together. it was just crazy. i haven't had so many good conversations in such a short time before. i hate how i'm just skimming the surface, but there's no way i could tell u everything i was dealing with in this little blog. i've already written enough. but i have never been happier than i am now after this weekend! i just love my friends!!! and i'm completely confident everything will be okay now. :D

First Post

This is just my first post. I am actually leaving for Wisconsin in ten minutes and need to pack, so I'm not sure why exactly I decided to start this blog right now...... but I will tell u all more stories later, when life has settled down a little. I'll be back to my beautiful Corcoran/ Rockford home on Friday! And I'll be around until Tuesday night... so hopefully I will be able to make it to the homecoming game, but who knows where life will take me in the next few days. I'll post more later, tho.