lent.

i don't know what to say, other than that life is confusing. i can sense myself giving up on some people, which is really bad... even when i see some change, i have a hard time believing that its really possible for people to just be the kind of people they should be. which is funny, because i have changed so much in the last few years. why can't i believe its possible for my family members to eventually change for the better, too?

on a lighter note, i gave up naps for lent-- which was a good idea, i think. unfortunately, in place of my 3-hour-daily-nap-dependency, i have become addicted to caffeine and television. i think both addictions would have eventually developed, anyway, because i get free pop at work (and i work about 4 days a week) and i have cable tv for the first time in my life-- and i started watching lost and grey's anatomy! its hard to stop, really, no matter who you are once you start watching grey's. but my lack of sleep has definitely heightened these obsessions because they are replacing the time i would have normally spent sleeping and the energy that would have normally come from a 3 hour nap. i think i'm missing the point of lent, though... to replace the sleep with God, somehow. i have started to go to chapel more, which is something. i've really distanced myself from God, though, and its going to be hard to go back to where i was before st olaf. this is a start.

work is okay, school is okay, life is okay. i can't really say anything too exciting or terrible about anything right now. i'm just direction-less... which is okay. :) i'm glad God brought me here and it will be interesting to see where i'll be going from here.

<3.