this sounds totally ridiculous. i know i'm being totally ridiculous. but i have no idea what i want to do with my life. i always knew that i was never ENTIRELY sure of what i was doing, but right now i am just so confused and i'm being forced to rethink everything.
am i in the right place? i'm not asking myself this because i'm unhappy, because for the most part i am. i'm never going to be happy with EVERYTHING, but something feels right here and something did not feel right at st olaf. this is the place for me socially, spiritually, emotionally... or at least st olaf was NOT the place for me socially, spiritually and emotionally, but its just not the place for me academically, or at least if i want to be a music major.
i was never sure i wanted to major in music or ANYTHING when i started college, but it seemed such a shame to go to st olaf as a musical person and not use their resources. and i was going to double major in something else, because i really don't see myself doing anything with music as a career. i really don't. so i spend a year and a half at st olaf as a music major and get most of my credits done for my major there. but i was miserable there.
so i go to bethel and suddenly everything is switched around. its a place i actually want to live. i love chapel, i love lunch dates, i love my roommates, i love living in an apartment, being able to easily get parking next year, the opportunity to go to greece and italy and learn about paul from people who actually believe in God, being able to work at a job i love that gives me reasonable hours and pay, being able to go weekly to a church i like, living a life i actually want to live. i just am SOOO happy with life here. but i don't know what bethel is exactly preparing me for if i absolutely hate being a music major here. there's just no purpose-- their program is not that great, i'm not interested in it because its not great and now i'm going to have to stay 5 years probably if i want to double major.
the question is this: do i stay, suck it up and be a music major and stay 5 years. or do i stay and major in something else (and i have no idea what...). or do i go back to st olaf, go to a place where i thrive musically and basically give up my happiness for a great education and a successful career path. or do i go somewhere else?
what do you think? is there an obvious answer to all of this that i'm missing!
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http://www.mcnallysmith.edu/
Check that place out. Its in St. Paul. Josh adam's brother is looking at it. I am serisouly thinking of applying there soon. Its supposed to be a pretty good music school. You are so wonderfuly tallented in music kara. Your voice. Your perfect pitch. Your understanding of song structure. The reason i was able to understand your song and still retain most of it is because it makes alot of sense musicaly. Not to mention your proficentcy at the piano, in my opinion one of the most difficult instruments to master next to maybe organs. You obviously love music kara. If you think bethel is not going to help your musical abilitys check this school out. I havent looked at it too much aside from what i want from it but give it a shot.
If college teaches you anything, let it be this......compromise. The fact of the matter is there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything you want. Likewise, you can't please everyone all the time. The sooner you realize the fact that some things are out of your control (like the school's class scheduling) the easier it is to cope with adverse situations. So where am I going with all of this? Well, you can always ask for help, and more often than not you'll get help. But there are some things that no one can help you with but you. This is where compromises come in. If you truly feel that music and a second major is the thing to do, then thats what you have to do, even if it'll take 5 years. If music is everything you want to be, you have to be willing to give up dollar signs. Perhaps the compromise in this situation is to major in something else, but minor in music? Also with the exception of spending money you can always take music classes as electives. Just remember its a rare occasion to have your cake and eat it too.
that is a perdiciment... or wahtever. Seriously, there is no easy answer. Take a look at Nate's thing, and just kinda look around. It would be a shame for your music to go to waste cuz you are truly amazing at it. It'd be sad if you left, but it's kinda a decision you have to choose. =) I'll pray for you!
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