a new way to be human

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

i don't know how to post anything but pictures on here, otherwise i would try to post this. it's AMAZING. follow the link and watch it and then read the rest of this, because it has everything to do with everything right now...



this week i am just fighting. its like every demon i've ever had to fight is ganging up on me and i feel like that girl in the video that is just clawing her way to Jesus.

the sermon on sunday was so applicable to everything it was just amazing. and even more applicable as this week continues to unfold. dave johnson talked about struggling, and how it is impossible to defeat anything-- any kind of sin, any kind of battle-- if you have no hope. and sometimes its easy to lose hope when the same weeds just keep regrowing and regrowing, but Jesus came to life as a human for a reason-- to show that it is possible. to show that you can overcome sin, you can overcome pain. he experienced it all as a human so that we could know that we, as humans, can really be like Him. we're not trying to be superman, this is actually something we can overcome.

i've had a hard week. i mean, its finals, but there's so much more than that. my dad didn't get his job. my brother's having a really hard time with his ex. my self esteem is rock bottom. i just can't let go and forgive anyone. and now i feel like i've lost a friend. and its hard to not feel alone, like God isn't really listening.

but i had the most amazing revelation today. its so easy to blame God for your problems. why would He let things like that happen-- and not just to me- to my family, my friends, to my co-worker who watched her brother shoot someone in the face and now is legally forced to testify against her brother at his murder trial, to my cousin who hasn't seen his wife or children for 2 years? i mean, its not like i dwell on all of this all the time, but sometimes its hard to not wonder why He lets it happen because it just sucks.

and for the first time i realized that when God has control and plans our future for us, He isn't looking down and saying "oh don't worry about it. i know the future, everything is fine, suck it up." He is crying with you because He hates when you are hurting. Jesus wept, even when He knew He was going to resurrect lazarus. He cares so much. its one of those things you think you know, but then you realize you don't really believe it.

i'm sure things will be fine in a week, in a month, in a year. tomorrow ha. but i thought maybe it would be comforting for one of you to just read and remember this because it changed everything for me today. Jesus is human and He knows and He cares and He cries for you.